One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
