I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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