Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
should my penis look like a turkey
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
