Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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