i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize