my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
