I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize