New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize