allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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