I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize