Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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