if you like me you must not know who I am
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
