direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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