my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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