I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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