the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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