Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Say something about gay babies.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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