I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
