party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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