I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i already hear my dad disowning me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
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she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
well you can't waste a boner
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
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but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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