End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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