Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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