How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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