Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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