the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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