Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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