i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
