I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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