just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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