Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
