the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
should my penis look like a turkey
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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