Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
