I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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