He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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