Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
