It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
we're so committed to being not committed
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
