Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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