my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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