You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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