At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
