maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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