Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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