i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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