i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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