Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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