This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
