you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
