No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
