my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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