I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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