i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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