my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You need Xanax blowdarts
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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