so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
