Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.