C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We left the knife in your bed.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.