is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am