You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
