I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
