omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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